I am in the exact same predicament as I was last year. The clock is ticking down to the most spooky and potentially fun night of the year, and I am yet again left without a brilliant costume idea. Sure, I have a few rolling around, but they don't strike me with the same "Aha!" that I feel like I should be getting. And as I hedge back and forth, time for online ordering is slipping by, and shipping costs are skyrocketing. The tension is mounting, which is supposed to be from watching scary movies and going through haunted houses, not from just sitting in a chair thinking about wigs and makeup.
So, to get my mind off of this seemingly endless debate about which costume idea is the funniest / most challenging / will create envy in all who see it, I will offer you a smorgasbord of random snippets and mental tidbits from my brain as I procrastinate thinking about anything except the task at hand.
Crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth. Despite you Facebook commenters to the contrary, I know this is true every time I bite into my delicious sandwich. However, smooth is better for bananas.
Six months out of the year, Ohio is pretty darn beautiful. Walking through Mill Creek Park last weekend proved it, as I watched bright orange and red leaves swirl down from the trees into a trickling crystal-clear stream to be carried away over smooth rocks. It is unfair that this tranquil scene will soon be replaced by a merciless frozen tundra.
Speaking of fall, I am a staunch supporter of leaf-piles, leaf throwing, leaf kicking, leaf-foot-swooshing and leaf raking. Leaf blowers, however, are the invention of demons. I recall a book where the author, in attempting to describe the leaf blower's intrusion on an otherwise-perfect fall day, just had an entire page filled with "rrrrooooooowwwwrrrrr." Besides being a shrill-sounding device, they are also completely incompetent. Maybe by the Super Bowl, you will have gotten all the leaves where you want them to go. Use a rake, Jake.
As a Warren G. Harding alumni, I still get excited when I hear the fireworks go off over at Mollenkopf Stadium every Friday night at 7 p.m. Touchdown, Raiders!
Election debate moderators should get a week in Hawaii in exchange for their pains.
Most of my friends who don't live in Ohio know nothing about Sweetest Day. A "Hallmark holiday" or not, an extra opportunity to do something mushy for someone is always good. Just don't spend tons of money. Then, the greeting cards win.
My poor father just cut off a few of his fingers (again) while taking down the old garage doors. When your mother calls and says "Your father cut off his fingers again," you have to laugh a little. After losing one during his years working in a restaurant, and another on a boat propeller, if he loses one more, he gets a freebie. Laughing and good humor is what gets our family through this sort of thing. Luckily, he will be healed enough to go see Rush with me next weekend.
A hot bath on a cool night is awesome. Bonus if you have a great book to read.
All this "pumkin-everything" stuff is nice, but feel free to pumpkin all year round, people. All the lattes and doughnuts and cookies and soup and candles in the world don't just suddenly go POOF! after Halloween.
I'm still trying to create the perfect meme.
"Boardwalk Empire" is a really good show, even if the namesake of my alma mater is shed in a less-than-wholesome light. I pretty much want all the clothes worn by the female characters.
Hug your puppies and kitties, and hug a puppy or kitty that isn't yours, or at least leave them something to eat once it gets chilly out. A few weeks ago I saw a hungry dog walking in the trees on the side of the road, so I stopped and threw one of my mozzarella sticks leftover from lunch out the window to him. As I turned around, I checked on him and saw the cheese stick poking out of his mouth like a little cigar. I hope you're well, silly cigar dog.
Got a Halloween costume idea for me? Share it at ssepanek@tribtoday.com, or comment on this story at www.tribtoday.com.