OK, so today is 10-10-10. I know, I know, it's super rare and way cool. It hardly ever happens.
Except, of course, that it's going to happen twice next year, sort of. You know, on Jan. 1 and Nov. 11.
Some people have assessed historical, psychological and even mathematical importance to today's date.
Yeah, I'm not really one of them.
So, I was trying to find my own Patty way of honoring today's unique date when it me: A top 10 list.
And just like that, I asked my girlfriends to send me their ideas about "The Top 10 Things Men Do that Women (Even if We Live to be 547) Will Never Understand."
We'll start at the bottom; just like David Letterman does.
According to my cousin MaryAnn Carlson of Boardman, No. 10 is: "Memorizing jersey numbers and stats for all (the top players in professional and even college) games ... Really!" In fairness, her husband is a longtime basketball coach and avid sports fan. But, seriously, Bob, it's almost scary how much detail you know about, like ALL sports. Let's call this one "Fan-iacal Behavior." Feel free to slip any other sports-related irritants into this slot, ladies.
Which leads me to No. 9: Selective Memory. They can tell you the ERA of their high school's baseball standout from 1982, how many times Michael Jordon slam-dunked in the 1980s and what Kansas City's over-under is this weekend but cannot seem to recall the birthdays of their closest family members or the date on which they married the women who bore their offspring.
Next up, according to my pal Lynn Fiest of Southington, is No. 8: "The Public Adjustment." "Why do guys feel the urge to have to re-arrange themselves? Never understood that one ... especially the pro athletes ... what's that all about on national TV!" For shame, boys.
On to No. 7: The incessant need to change the channel at light speed, particularly when we women are interested in the previous 89 channels they just whizzed past; my friend Liz Holter, also of Boardman, and I agree they do it with full malice. I like to call this "The Flicker Phenomenon."
Lynn chimed back in with No. 6: "The Slippery Seat Situation." "Why can't they put the toilet seat down after going to the bathroom; and in the middle of the night you go into the bathroom sleepwalking and fall into the toilet! Not funny!" OK, it's a little bit funny.
Oh, and checking in at No.5: "Situational Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." This refers to the fact that the grass must be mowed due west at a 45-degree angle, the car must be washed and waxed in complete feng shui and the garage must be clean enough for floor dining, yet the discarded dental floss can and will sit on the bathroom sink for three decades unless we women put it in the trash can. Hmm.
No. 4: "The Inevitable End Result." My friend Jessica Bloss of Beloit and I agree: A man will ask you your opinion about kitchen counters, bathroom light fixtures and bedroom furniture and then, like clockwork, ignore your suggestion and go with their first - and final - choice. Guys, why don't we all just skip a step and go with your selection within the first four minutes of shopping at the Home Depot? It could greatly improve both our life expectancies, just sayin'.
For No. 3, it's a gender version of "Good Cop, Bad Cop." I call it "Good Dad, Bad Mom." Why is that he's always the candy-giver, the bedtime breaker, and the motorized scooter fairy while she is always the brush your teeth, go to sleep, you'll break your leg ogre? More hmm.
Second to one? How about the "Silent Brooding Technique?" Nothing drives us madder than when you won't talk. We know we talk too much. We know we're asking a lot, literally. We know sometimes you truly are just thinking about the game but when we want to converse, share and bond, we need a bone, guys. Besides, when you're too quiet for too long we just think you think we're fat.
And the No.1 thing that men do that women will never comprehend? Putting up with us. Don't know how or why you manage it gentlemen, but we're certainly glad you do.
Happy 10.10.10 to every man - and woman!
Kimerer is a Tribune Chronicle columnist. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.