It's safe to say, I am not the same person I was at the beginning of this week.
Sure, I'm six days closer to the age of 30 (a fact that is currently plaguing my daily life), I'm probably a few pounds heavier considering I've been avoiding the gym like it has the plague and I'm sliding on a slope of depression because of the Cleveland Browns. But none of those reasons are why I'm a different person.
I'm a new Dana because I'm now the proud owner of a Blackberry. Or as I've found it is called, a Crackberry. Because that's what it is. Crack in the form of a mobile device.
I've been contemplating this purchase for many months now, and after careful saving and working a few extra shifts at my 18 jobs, I finally was able to get the device I now don't think I can live without.
I may not be able to live without it, that still doesn't mean I know how to use it. Because I don't.
Like many people in my age range, heck, in any age range, I don't like to read directions. If I'm absolutely stumped on something, I'll pull out the manual that might as well have been written in Chinese, because I sure as heck can't understand it, and will try and figure it out.
Well, with the Crackberry, I haven't looked at the manual, honestly because I haven't had time. But there is so much stuff on this thing, I don't know where to even start.
Things I do know how to do: I can text, make calls, I've set up my mobile Facebook and I just set up my voicemail yesterday. Oh, and I can play Brickbreaker. I love me some Brickbreaker. Though I'm not very good at it.
I've also been introduced to the Blackberry Messenger, which apparently is an instant messenger for Blackberry users. I know how to use it, and sometimes I can find my pin number. It's still a little complicated, though.
Here, however, are things I don't know how to do: Download ringtones, change my wallpaper, add new contacts and go to basic web pages like Google. There are probably other things that I didn't even know I could do; either way, I don't know how to do them.
I never thought a piece of technology could consume my life as much as this thing has. The only thing that has even come remotely close to this level of obsession was when I got my first Nintendo back in 1988, and it consumed my life for a good six months. I loved playing Paper Boy.
But I can't seem to put my new toy down. I want to play with it and figure out all the stuff I know I haven't figured out. And I want to get better at typing on a QWERTY keyboard. My texting speed has drastically dropped since the change.
The sad thing is, as soon as I figure out how to work this thing, it will be outdated, because I'm sure they are launching the Blackberry to end all Blackberrys at Christmas, and mine will quickly become archaic. What will be worse is when I still don't know how to use it, and one of my 10-year-old dancers will pick it up and figure it out in five seconds.
But it's OK. I am the proud owner of a pink Blackberry. And it's all mine.
Uh, oh, it's ringing. How do I answer it?